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Spring is almost officially here. The weather is getting warmer, days are longer. That massive amount of snow we have is (slowly) beginning to melt, at least a little bit. But that’s not why I’ve been so excited as of late. I’ve been patiently waiting for March Madness which officially gets underway today, but really doesn’t get going until Thursday.

It’s one of my most favourite times of the year. Seriously. I LOVE the NCAA Men’s basketball tournament. 64 teams. You win, move on. You lose, go home. It’s great. And with the ‘winner moves on’ format, you inevitbly end up with a lot of very close games, many of which result in the lower seeded team winning, sending favourites home. What’s not to love about this? It’s the true underdog’s tournament. And it’s something I’ve been watching for 14 years. So needless to say, I’m pumped!

And just so I have it out ‘officially,’ the Final Four will be Duke, Kansas, Ohio St. and Florida. With Duke defeating Kansas in the championship game, 68-64. Have you made your picks yet?

P.S. The opening day of the tournament also happens to fall on St. Patrick’s Day (which also happens to be my day off). Basketball and beer all day? I must have done something right in a previous life.

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Just a quick post today.

Even though Jack White is ‘officially’ done with the White Stripes, we all know he ain’t going anywhere soon. He’ll still be working with the Raconteurs and the Dead Weather. He’s got his own record label. He’s producing. The guy seems to never be not working. And now he’s on the radio.

NPR down in the states is beginning a new weekly series of interviews with the musical genius titled, “The Flipside with Jack White.” Yup, the same NPR that SNL makes so much fun of with the ‘Delicious Dish’ skit. “Well there’s no beating my balls. They’re made from a secret Schweddy family recipe. Nobody can resist my Schweddy balls.” Hahahaha. Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, Jack White. Check out the first interview here.

And today, March 1st, marks the 17th anniverary of Nirvana’s last show. Played in Munich, Germany. It also happens to be Justin Bieber’s 17th b-day today. So there you have it. We now know what day the music died. March 1st, 1994.

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I’m not entirely sure if I believe the whole 2012 apocalypse thing or not, but I do think it’d be kind of neat if it did happen. I know that may sound a tad bit morbid but think about it for a sec. If the end of the world did in fact happen, we’d have front row seats. I’d way rather die in the destruction of earth than of the bubonic plague back in the medievil ages. Ok that doesn’t make too much sense… I’d rather go out in the biggest event in Earth’s history, then say, get hit by a bus on December 20th, 2012. Let me be clear, I’m not HOPING that it’s true. I like my life and have plenty of it left to live. Things to see, people to do… and so on. I guess my point is (If I even have one), if it is in fact true then there’s nothing we can do to stop it. So when we find out, just go with it man. Don’t panic.

And over the course of the last few years I’ve noticed some pretty ridiculous things that only a species doomed for extinction could possibly come up with. The latest… Swiss Chalet launching a 24 hr chicken channel. Remember the burning log you see on tv every christmas. That’s it, except with rotisserie chicken, not burning logs. For. 24 hours. a. day. Here’s the story, just in case you don’t believe me. http://bit.ly/dHnnHw

Seriously? This is actually happening? What bugs me is that more than one person had to think this was a good idea in order for it to get the go ahead. So you see? When things like this are created, I can’t help but think that 2012 is real.

I also need to specify that I’m not a pessimistic person. I’m a pretty happy dude, living my life, loving my life. Glass half full and all that jazz. It’s stupidity that really bothers me. And this whole 24 chicken channel is stupid. Really stupid. In fact, I’m deciding right here and now! I am beginning a list of signs that 2012 is real. (I think this list is going to get big real quick)

1. 24 Hour/day Rotisserie Chicken channel
2. TMZ/Perez Hilton etc. Who the hell cares if Ronaldo’s super model girlfriend doesn’t shave her legs? Someone got paid a LOT of money to take that photo. Jeebus.
3. It hasn’t happened yet but if Sarah Palin gets elected President of the United States, that’s a DEFINITE sign. No way can someone who makes up her own words rule the free world. I suppose if it did happen, Dec 21, 2012 would only be a month later…

This is just the beginning of my list. Trust me, it’ll get bigger. C’mon humans, don’t let me down!

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Today is Bradley Nowell’s 43rd birthday. Well, what would have been his 43rd birthday. He died when he was only 28. We’ve got heroin to thank for that one. And Kurt Cobain’s (again, what would have been) 44th birthday was just a few days ago. And again, thanks heroin.

We tend to think of this type of thing all the time when we look back at musicians whose time came too soon. What could have been? What great songs did they never get the chance to write? It’s kind of a bummer I know, but instead of pondering (with no actual results) what songs we’ll never get to hear, why not enjoy the songs that they gave us? Tonight I shall be cracking some cold ones and enjoying 40 oz to Freedom. Ok, who am I kidding? I’ll be smoking two joints! Thanks Bradley, for the songs we DID get to hear.

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I know, even I’m tired of hearing about the Grammy awards last night. Who won, who didn’t, blah blah blah. But there’s just a few things I need to get off my chest before putting the Grammy talk away for another year.

First off, congrats to the Arcade Fire for winning album of the year. It certainly caused a negative reaction among Americans who had no idea who they are. ‘Eminem was ROBBED!’ ‘Who the hell is Arcadia Fire? Bet you Gaga’s album is way better!’ And so on. To me, this is hilarious. I’ve even read a number of twitter feeds of people thinking the name of the band was ‘The Suburbs.’ Too funny. If you’re going to blast someone/thing, at least get your facts straight before hand.

Secondly, Lady Gaga’s new song ‘Born this Way’ is a COMPLETE RIPOFF of Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself.’ Gaga says the song only took her 10 minutes to write. Yeah, copying someone else’s work tends to take less time than creating something original.

Finally, Esperanza Spalding. Yeah I know, I said the same thing when her name was announced as Best New Artist. ‘Who?’ But that’s cool, it made me curious as to what her album sounded like. She obviously won for a reason. I didn’t react the way Justin Bieber’s fans did, by hacking into Spalding’s wikipedia page and saying that Bieber was robbed and Spalding deserves to ‘die in a hole.’ That’s an actual quote. Classy. I understand that the majority of Bieber’s fans are 14 year old girls and that most 14 year olds don’t think much before saying or doing something. I never did anyway. But telling someone to die because your favourite boy toy didn’t win an award is just shameful. And it doesn’t make Bieber look any better. Congratulations, you’ve given him a PR problem because ‘Baby’ is your ‘like most favourite song in the whole entire world.’ Get a clue.

I don’t even know what to say about this. I just feel the need to put the news out there to as many as possible, to ensure something like this never happens again. Please read: http://bit.ly/e1yMwN

Glee. Perhaps one of television’s most popular television shows these days. Won a number of Golden Globes and has featured music from the likes of Journey, Britney Spears, and even Jay-Z. There are plenty of artists out there that have jumped aboard the ‘Glee’ train and to be honest, it’s probably helped them make more money.

So what happens when a band doesn’t want their music used on the show? You’d think a simple ‘no’ would suffice, right? I guess not. The Kings of Leon were asked if Glee could use their song ‘Use Somebody’ in an upcoming episode back in October. They weren’t interested. Frontman Caleb Followill said that they had never even seen the show before, and they just weren’t interested in allowing their music to be used in this way.

Here’s a direct quote from Glee creator Ryan Murphy in response to the ‘no’ from KoL. “Fuck you, Kings of Leon. They’re self-centred assholes, and they missed the big picture. They missed that a seven-year-old kid can see someone close to their age singing a Kings of Leon song, which will maybe make them want to join a glee club or pick up a musical instrument.”

To me, this is a very poor move on the part of Murphy. He’s trying to accuse the Kings of Leon of hurting arts education because that’s what Glee is all about. It’s not JUST a tv show. I call bullshit. He’s just pissed because they turned him down.

And now he’s gone ahead and given himself and his show, a PR problem. Is this really the type of attention he wanted for his show? A show about standing up against bully’s and being proud of who you are and not letting anyone tell you, “There’s nothing you can’t do.” That’s what Murphy is saying Glee is all about, isn’t he? Seems kind of ass backwards to me. Kings of Leon stand up for their artistic integrity and don’t want their music to be used commercially, and now they’re accused of hurting the youth of America for doing so. I’m very interested in seeing where this goes.

Oh and it certainly will continue. Drummer Nathan Followill had his own response. You should definitely read this! http://bit.ly/go0zgv

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8:30 am. Monday morning. I’m expecting a call from the ‘guy’ I needed to talk to regarding my inability to afford the personal training sessions I signed up for. (For the record, yes I know I should have just walked out in the first place. But I am like most people, which is exactly the type of person they’re looking for.) No call. 9:00 am. No call. I call them. They tell me he’s in a tranining session at the moment, he’ll call me when he’s finished. 11:00 am. FINALLY!

So I begin to go into detail as to why I can’t afford this ‘package.’ My car is about to cost me $1000 to repair (this is true, no bullsh*t). On top of student loan payments, groceries, etc. Paying $70/month for the next year, for 12 personal training sessions is just not doable. “Oh, I’m sorry Graeme. It’s not policy to give refunds or cancel existing accounts, but we can help you ‘re-finance’ the payments, cutting down the cost.” Is this not a detail that should have been presented to me when I signed up in the first place? Or a detail that the other incompetant employees could have informed me of? This was a 4 day, 4 phone call and 1 stop in process. And nobody could have said, “Actually it’s our policy.” fml.

This my friends, is incredibly poor customer service. But evidently I’m stuck. You know what I’m gonna do?!?! I’m going to do the very ‘adult’ thing and write a letter to their General Manager. Yeah! That’ll show ‘em!

(I purposely left the name of the gym out of this post. It’s not for me to publically blast this company by name. This was more for me to vent my frustrations. And besides, I’ve already paid for all this crap, I may as well put it to use!)

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I recently signed myself up for a gym membership. I figure it’s time to quit being lazy and start getting back into shape. As much as I’d like to, I can’t drink my way to a 6 pack so why not get a head start, right?

But it’s not as simple as we’d hope. Not the working out part, the signing up part. You can’t just walk into a gym, pay for a membership and that’s that. Noooooo, you’ve got to sit down with a trainer to discuss all of the membership options first. “What is it you’re hoping to achieve Graeme? Have you been to our juice bar yet? Lot’s of really healthy, delicious food (at prices almost nobody can afford). Have you ever had a personal trainer?”

Ugh, maybe this gym thing was a bad idea. No, I’m committed so let’s do this. “Yeah well I’m kind of on a budget so I think just the basic membership is fine. thanks.” That’s it Graeme, stay strong! Don’t let them up sell you. However, it doesn’t end there. I’ve all of a sudden made an appointment for my complimentary ‘consultation’ with a personal trainer. Just to assess what my goals are, current fitness level, blah blah friggin blah. After my hour long ‘consultation’ I walked out of the gym, having just signed up for 12 sessions with a personal trainer. What the hell? How did that even happen? I distinctly recall telling this guy that I couldn’t afford it. I just wanted to work out on my own. (Side note: I am terrible at saying no to people trying to sell me stuff. You know the phrase ‘There’s one born every minute.’ Yeah, that’s me. And they could totally sense it) Still, this guy was good.

It’s ok, I can just phone them and tell them I got ahead of myself, can’t afford the trainer, just want the basic membership. Oh wait, I can’t do that over the phone. Of course I can’t, what was I thinking? I have to show up in person to cancel it. Why? So they can try to talk you out of it, duh! Jeebus. Ok, so I go in on Saturday to cancel this thing in person. And what happens? “Actually you’ll need to talk to our head trainer about that. He’s not in until Monday.”

You know all those negative stereotypes that people have of the gym? They’ve now taken over my thought process. So tomorrow morning is when I get to talk to head trainer guy. Stay tuned for part 2…

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I’m not really sure what made me think of this in the first place but I can’t seem to stop. If you could have anyone, ANYONE in the history of the world narrate your life, who would it be and why? I know, weird right? But seriously, if your life was a documentary for people to watch, who’d you want to narrate?

As you can probably tell, I’ve put a lot of thought into this. Well, a lot of thought for ME anyway. And I think I’d have to go with David Attenborough. He’s the guy who narrated Planet Earth. Y’know, that awesome series that the BBC did a number of years back? Yup, I’d definitely go with him.

He’s got such a je nais sais quoi about his voice. It’s awesome. Because no matter what you’d be doing, he could make it sound like it was the most intriguing thing anyone has ever seen…

“We see Graeme in his kitchen. It appears that he is about to make a tuna sandwhich. He goes into his fridge and reaches for the jar of dill pickes. But this is a new jar of pickles and he struggles to open it, for the lid is too tight. Frustrated by failure, he smashes the jar on the floor and picks up a pickle. Pleased with himself, he returns to his couch and begins to watch Planet Earth.”

I understand that a distinguished British accent doesn’t translate to text, but in my head that sure sounded awesome!

So who would you choose?

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